Guilt
by EternalPandemonium
Summary: The feeling of sadness that came over you when he turned down your offer and the feeling of comfort that washed it away when you found out he's guilty of it. You(Reader) / Bon. Taken from the 45th chapter of the manga, the school festival part.


So...this has been hanging around in my mind for quite a while and I must say, it kinda ticked me off. Before the thought disappears I decided to write it down and post it here.

I do not own Ao no Exorcist.

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**Guilt**

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"... Cross Festival?"

"Yeah!" Your best friend enthusiastically said as she sat on one of the desks near the window of your classroom. You were leaning on one of the windows, arms crossed, not really looking at her, but rather outside. "Haven't you seen the poster? The school festival's comin' up. There'll be lots of famous musicians coming! Oh, it would be exciting! So are you coming or what?"

Your best friend had been expecting you to come since you're a music and festival lover. Cross Festival was just the thing you needed in order to get your groove back on after you've failed a 100 item test. It matters not if you're not grade conscious but considering you were, it was enough to dampen your mood for a period of almost a month. That's why she was quite dumbfounded when you said no.

"But it's a festival! As far as I know, you love festivals...wait." She paused. "Don't tell me you're still not over the oh-Ryuji-kun-probably-thinks-I'm-stupid thing?"

When you didn't say anything, she just sighed.

You would be lying if you deny that matter. Yes, you thought that Suguro Ryuji thinks you're stupid for failing a test, and yes, you're still not over it. He had been the reason why you're trying so hard to study since you wanted him to notice you. Praise you or be study buddies with you or something. At least that's enough for you.

"You know," your friend started. "On the second night of the festival, there'll be a music fest for students on Mepphy Land."

You cut her off. "What does that have to do with me?"

She fixated a glare on you and said, "Let me finish!" Then she rubbed her temples. "You can't enter the fest when you don't have a partner that's opposite your gender."

You raised a brow that clearly said, "So?"

"Don't give me that look, missy! Festival. Partner. What comes in your mind?" When you continued to give her the same look, she almost looked as if she was worried about you or something. "Oh no, what did a month of depression do to your brain?!"

Well that struck a nerve.

"Why don't you just say what you have to say so we can dismiss this matter once and for all?" you said.

"Look here, I'm just trying to help you. Since the festival is only for those with partners, I'm thinking that maybe you should try to ask Suguro to go with you. You can't let this chance slip from your hands."

* * *

"What is it that you want?"

You can't help but freak out on the inside. After a night's worth of contemplation and argument with your inner self, you finally considered going to the festival. You took the chance and were able to weigh the risks. You chose the most appropriate time, of course early in the morning before classes start so that there won't be any witnesses. You know him well enough to know that he's always early, being the first one to arrive in class. Soon you found yourself in front of the object of your affection.

Indeed, it was harder than you thought.

Mustering all your courage, you finally were able to tell him what you wanted. Your eyes met with his and he said while not tearing his away from yours, "No."

And yeah, you know him well enough to expect that he'll turn you down.

That was totally expected. Yep, totally expected. There's nothing unexpected with that since you guessed he might have a partner already, or knowing him, he just didn't have the time. You expected him to turn you down but the unexpected were the tears suddenly dampening your cheeks.

His eyes widened in shock. You never tore your eyes away from him. You never knew why. You never knew the reason for anything. You never knew the reason behind his determination in his studies, you never knew the exact reason why you liked him, you never knew the reason why he turned down your offer, you never knew the reason why you didn't move and you continued to stare at him while crying. You never knew the reason for anything except for one thing.

You were crying because you're hurt. Hurt because of the effort wasted. Hurt because of the courage wasted.

Students eventually piled in but no one was able to witness what happened. Suguro continued to stare at your empty seat, wondering where you were. Obviously he didn't know since you just ran off after what happened.

You didn't attend any of your class that day.

* * *

"Say what now?"

"Well at least she looks normal now," your best friend thought. Your eyes suddenly lit up when she mentioned what she overheard that morning. "Like I said, I happened to come across with Suguro and his friends. I was able to catch wind of what they were talking about so early in the morning and to my surprise, it was about you. They were talking about how Suguro didn't sleep a wink after you cried in front of him, mainly because of the shock. Oh and the other guys started talking about Knights and curses."

"Oh, and did you know? When you skipped classes that day, he would always look at your seat in class!" she added while she sat on the usual desk.

When you laughed to your heart's content, your best friend involuntarily smiled.

There was the feeling of comfort washing over you when she said that. As if everything was alright since you knew he was kind of guilty of what he did. Your normal classmate-classmate relationship with Suguro may never return but at least YOU were back to normal.

And at least you caught his attention. Twice.

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Reviews and criticisms are welcome! :D


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